Ladies Who Launch

In the late 1980s, a faculty member—an icon in the field of group dynamics—backhandedly referred to my friend and me as the "Ladies Who Lunch." We were taken aback, angry, and deeply disappointed. I was 46, my friend 38, and we were both back in school, pursuing our PhDs. We were married to men in high-level leadership roles; I had two young children, and my friend had just welcomed her first child.

The phrase "Ladies Who Lunch" is often used to describe women who, as Wikipedia puts it, "fill their time with frivolous things." While the origins of this sardonic label are debated, the professor’s intent was crystal clear to us: we were seen as lacking seriousness. Our educational pursuits were dismissed as trivial, something to fill the time in a supposedly unproductive life. This professor wanted to warn us that there were more "deserving" students (read: men) and that the path to a doctorate would be particularly tough for women like us.

Indeed, it wasn’t easy. There were moments when we doubted ourselves, questioning how we could juggle classes, dissertations, work, and family. We delighted in our children, yet felt the constraints of motherhood while trying to manage careers. We encountered what scholars call the "motherhood penalty"—the barriers mothers face while attempting to advance professionally. Although we both had incredibly supportive husbands, they too struggled with the realities of balancing family and career. We worried about our future and often questioned whether we could provide a secure life for our children without sacrificing our values. Still, despite these challenges, my friend and I completed our studies and boldly stepped into the future.

Over the following decades, we evolved into women who not only enjoyed a good lunch but also took pride in launching the careers of other women. In our various roles as consultants, coaches, and educators, we used every opportunity to mentor and support women in achieving their ambitions.

Looking back, we realize we were among the first wave of women aggressively launching themselves into the workforce. In the mid-1980s, about 500,000 women held college degrees. Today, that number has more than doubled. In 1986, only 25% of MBAs in the U.S. were awarded to women. Today, at the very institution where my friend and I taught MBAs, women make up over 50% of the graduates.

Despite the setbacks women have faced, especially during the pandemic, we’re delighted to see women making headlines in the financial world. It’s now commonplace to expect a woman doctor during a checkup—38% of MD degrees are awarded to women. And as for PhDs? Women now earn 50% of them. So, yes, we prevailed. And while we still love to lunch, our conversations now focus on the future because we know women continue to face complex challenges and subtle discrimination in their quest for meaningful work.

There’s still more work to be done. So now, what is our role? And what is yours?